You Really Are What You Think You are…

Hello everyone.

You know, I have been meaning to share some of my thoughts about life and what I have experienced for a long time. I used to be a public speaker and author of over a million books in print. So what! I remember thinking how cool it was to travel and fly and speak all around the world and then I remember the day I didn’t know what city I was in.

It was a wake up call.

I had lectured to hundreds of thousands of people and the joy had left me. I think back now and realize it was more the subject than anything else. Since that period of time, I have created a body of work that i would love to start sharing with the public. Hell, I have succeeded in such a big way in my life but guess what, I have failed a lot too. I am now in a position in my life where sharing what I have learned is very important to me. wow, I must be getting old. I hate saying that. sounds kinda creepy but life is too short. That’s not just a cliche.


I am going to start this off with a little chat about what i call the love factor.

Guess what? I went to prison. yes, I went to prison and so should you. No, I am not some violet criminal or anything crazy. although some have treated me like that. I lost my freedom over 13 years ago and people act like it was yesterday. I am a guy who has been worth over a hundred million dollars in my day and have lost it all. yes, all of it!

If I can overcome the crazy shit i have overcome, I promise you that you don’t have it as bad as you think.

john polkI am here to tell you that no matter how far down in the crap you are, there is a way up. the only way up through the shit, is in your own mind. The genie is within and i am going to–through this blog–and other writing, videos and other mediums, attempt to share this crazy ass story and adventure i call my life. let me tell you. Ihave been through shit that would curl your hair. many men would have ended their lives. My dear old grandfather blew his brains out and I have had times where i fully empathized with him.

I am hoping somehow through my stories–through my writings–that you will have more hope. that you will be kind more often. that you will love more, smile more, make love more and hey, even make some money.

when I was in prison, I set out to own the word, “love” in business. I failed. you know what happened? i got greedy and built companies and created multi-million dollar ventures. i kept saying: “oh, I will do that love factor thing.

I created a company out of prison and actually called my sales reps love agents and gave a free book when you purchased my energy drink. lol. that is a whole other story.


let me share this little diddy with you.

I will have all kinds of good stuff on here after a while. bare with me.

here it goes:



We at The Love Factor disagree wholeheartedly with so many of today’s scientists and scholars who tell us that we are all nothing more than gene machines that muck about through our lives believing that we are conscious and eternal.

In the far reaches of this theory is that, in the end analysis, life has no meaning or purpose and is, indeed, the existential experience of being and nothingness…

Fortunately there are other scientists and scholars who disagree with these rather grim views of our existence…In light of this we can almost divide those who offer that we are not living organisms are but basic robotic creatures (gene machines) and those that offer we are physical manifestations of spiritual significance.

In the positive living-world corner are such profound physicists as Fred Alan Wolf, Paul Davies and David Bohm (many others) and in the dead-mechanical-world corner there are scientists such as Daniel C. Dennett, Richard Dawkins and the now deceased Carl Sagan. There are many others in this court too.

On the brighter side of “the living-world” coin are great inspirational and motivational writers and speakers such as Wayne W. Dyer, Deepak Chopra and the voices of such teachers as Tony Robbins and our own John Polk.

The radical difference between the two sides is that those who hold the mechanical world view tell us that while we have some volition to better ourselves and therefore control our destinies we are, by and large, destined to the limitations given us by our DNA. One thing that this indicates in that we can improve your present conditions but there is little chance that we will ever rise above them. The other side tells us the opposite; that we are in charge of our lives and, in a term, we can overcome the challenges we confront.

In regard to this, some years ago a tattoo became popular among many convicts. The tattoo read: Born to Lose.

The owners of this self-defeating message in body-art have branded themselves helpless and hopeless. If one is “born to lose” after all, there are no alternatives and life becomes a rocky road leading to a series of dead ends…

Indeed, the thought of being born to lose is in and of itself a message to one’s own brain and, at the same time, a projection into the Universe. (What is projected into the Universe is always reflected!)

What we are getting at here is a proposition that is at the cornerstone of The Love Factor philosophy. That is, what we tell our brains (or whatever our brains are conditioned to believe) is how we manifest our world. This is precisely why having loving and nurturing parents while growing up is so important. It is as simple as this: When the child grows up feeling loved and cared about, the child’s brain grows up believing that it is of value. A person of value never mirrors itself as “born to lose.”

Indeed, the term “born to lose” is a sad metaphor for deeming oneself of little or no value. The interesting part of this dilemma is that when one deems him or herself of no value, the world becomes an extension of themselves and therefore holds no or little value either. We are not just referring to prison inmates here but to all persons who never succeed in life, are never really happy or productive. There is after all not much difference between having a tattoo that states “I was born to lose” than it is to live one’s life in a brain-state that creates negative realities such as…I can never get ahead…nothing ever works out for me…if it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have none at all and so forth.

The key message here is the observation: “creates negative realities.”

When you can grasp that it is how you project the world, the world becomes, you will realize too that you are forever the creator in the continuum of creating. You can test this easily. Take a person in your life that you now hate and no matter how difficult it is for you, begin telling yourself every day that you forgive and love this person and see the results. That person will not change but you will have “created” your world more loving and therefore more positive. Indeed, your love or hate may have little (and probably no effect) on the target-object but you will begin noticing both your mind and body becoming “brighter” and so happier. Happy people do not fail!

There is a tremendous amount of food for thought in what has been written in the above. We will leave you to ponder why it is within The Love Factor’s view that you and I and every other individual is empowered to make positive changes inside the self and so in the world; in the entire Universe. In regard to this, there is a most beautiful and profound statement made by Joseph Clinton Pearce we will leave you to dwell on:

“Mind mirrors the universe that mirrors man’s mind. Creator and Created give rise to each other.”


It is probably safe to say that we have all been taught that we are subject to the way our physical brains work. In a sense this is true because our brains have stored within them all our experiences. Indeed, this is one reason why the father of modern existentialism, Jean-Paul-Sartre, tells us that we are nothing other than “the totality of our experiences.”

The Love Factor does NOT agree with this in that while it is true we habitually draw from our experiences to create our realities in the present we are not condemned to being limited by them. In other words, just as we can choose to rise above our circumstances we can choose to draw from our experiences but, at the same time, refuse to be the result of them.

The real value of experience is that it is a masterful teacher.

For example if one has had a poor or even terrible childhood and makes the statement, if I’d been raised differently I would have turned out so much better, richer, more loving and generous…happier, what is really being said is that yes, I am merely the totality of my experiences. Another way of saying this is I am what the world has made me.

This scenario works ONLY if we deny that we human beings have free will. What the Love Factor says about this is that our free will extends the possibility of simply making choices and therefore choosing alternatives. For one thing, if we stand at a “T” in the road and can only turn left or right, free will really doesn’t come into play since we are condemned to going one way or another. We have to choose a direction of course but, in this example, we are not free to choose (or will) other alternatives.

Nearly everyone is conditioned to go through their lives feeling and believing that they are confined and so limited by these kinds of barriers to their freedom. This view creates a kind of swim or sink philosophy and all of our socialization, our training and education has indoctrinated us to exist in a world that we have absolutely no control over. Well, there are lots of things we can’t do…we can’t flap our arms and fly or walk through stone walls. Because we are, ourselves physical beings, we belong to the laws of physics. And, although physics is proving that what we see and so call “real” is really a mere projection or “conjuring” of our consciousness. We need not go into this, however, since the fact remains that if we stub our toe on a brick, it’s going to hurt.

Skipping the more magical and mystical aspects of the potential of our free will, we want to dwell on the power that we all have to “will” a happier and, for that matter, more successful life for ourselves. For simplistic purposes we will call it, brainpower.

While there are a rash of scientists in the world who insist that we are nothing more than our brain-bodies, we at The Love Factor agree instead with those scientists and other renowned thinkers who tell us that, as Doctor Paul Pearsall states, we are NOT our brains, our brains only think that they are us. And he adds:

“…the “I”, the self, is much more than the reverberation of neurons and we are much more than we “think” we are. We are also what we believe, hope, feel, and sense. We can tell the brain not only what, but how to think.”

This is vital to The Love Factor’s philosophy because it reverses the proposition that we are subject to the workings of our brains bur rather tells us our brains our subject to the “I” of us which is housed in our bodies. Religious people call this our soul-selves or spiritual selves while many physicists would call this our consciousness. The bottom line is, we are more than the skin, bones and organs that make up our physical beings…and, in this light, it becomes essential to realize that our brains—wonderful and magnificent as they are, are merely one more organ that we possess.

Now then, to keep all this as simple as we can, imagine your brain as being likened to the genie in the lamp that grants your wishes. Returning to physics for a moment, no, of course your brain cannot turn the pebble in your hand into a nugget of gold.What your brain can do, however, is create positive synchronicities in your life that will, in turn, bring joyful, loving, positive and yes, profitable occurrences into your life Most people are extremely skeptical when they first hear this and we understand this since it does sound a little far-fetched, a little too magical and mystical. The problem is that nearly everyone has been indoctrinated to, in the least, curve their imaginations and deny that they are endowed with the freedom to manifest in an objective world.

The young children know, by their very nature that they belong to the entire Universe and nothing is impossible for them…adults see this as “their playtime” and work hard to draw their children out of it placing them in their reality of hard knocks and so-called objective thinking. In short, most parents are anxious to take the “magic” out of their children’s lives and fit them snuggly into their own mundane world.

Some of this is necessary and positive of course. After all, the physical world has its demands! What is negative, however, is that the socialization that the child gets takes away his or her power. The child is indoctrinated to believe that this is how things are done, these are the rules of living life and everything is all about cause-and-effect.

And so, by the time the child is around seven years old he or she has separated the subjective from the objective in such a way that his or her subjective self is invalidated. Doing home work has its rewards in the real world while imagination only delivers the unreal.

What results from all this is a belief that each individual is subject to the workings of the world, that, as said, there is no magic *only cause-and-effect.

The idea then belongs to the ideal…we are more than a brain/body and it is the “I” of ourselves that is “conscious.” We might call this consciousness, **Mind.

*What scientifically challenges the concept of cause-and-effect is beyond our understanding and so we will not attempt to explain it beyond saying that (scientifically) it describes something termed “time-forward causality” and, based on this, our claim is that it is within the human experience to influence both past and future; that through our consciousness we can (and do) alter events!

** The scientific arena is packed with scientists and other so-called scholars who believe that mind is a mere epiphenomenon (function) of the brain. The Love Factor’s philosophy offers that the “I” of us or, in other word, that mind is separated from the brain/body or what the spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, calls the pain-body.

And so, okay, if you can bring yourself to discard your doubts and reassess the “who and what” of you and realize the two as distinct. Read on:

When you can grasp that your brain is only part of the “what” of you and that the actual you, the “I” of you (the spirit, soul or mind you) is the temporary tenant in your physical body, you can therefore more easily grasp the possibility of being in charge of your brain as opposed to being in servitude it. There are cases when the damaged or unhealthy brain can take control but that is a subject for another time. At this juncture what we are struggling to say is that you are NOT your brain and it is your brain that is in servitude to you.

Indeed, think of your brain as a thoughtless organ forever operating on automatic. Except for a few survival techniques, it ONLY knows what it is told. And it has the ability to deliver just about anything that it is told. This is why we use the metaphor of the genie in the lamp; the mythical granter of wishes.

When you were a child and those adults in your life that you loved and believed held the truth were the first authorities that your brain knew. And so if they told you that you were mechanical, artistic, bad, good, positive or negative, hateful or loving, naughty or nice your brain began its magic and produced the attitudes that would best demonstrate what it was told you were.

We are not only talking about parents here but all the significant others in your life, teachers to peers. All their words were taken literally since your brain CANNOT discriminate between truth and fiction. If for example, you are alone in your bed at night and in the darkness of a room and you decide that some terrible monster is hiding in your closet or under your bed, your brain will give you all the feelings of fear and anxiety that would arrive if you actually confronted someone horrible hiding in your room. And, the more that you tell yourself that you are scared, the more frightened you will actually become. You will soon enough find yourself out of bed, turning on the light and checking every nook and cranny of the house to make sure that you are not in any real danger.

If you told your brain (enough times) that carrots were deadly poison, the time would quite possibly arrive when you could not bring yourself to eat a carrot or, if you did, you would suddenly feel all the symptoms of being poisoned. Children fool themselves this way but regardless of age all neurotic behaviors are the result of believing something that simply ISN’T true.

For example, this is why we feel such devastating hurt when we lose a romantic lover. With all the emotional power within us we tell our brains that we can’t live without the other…we will never be happy again…we hate life…we have been trampled on…our hearts have been broken and so forth. Our brains supply the unhappy endorphins that these declarations have demanded through a network of complex processes.

With this in mind there are some scientists and others in the medical professions that tell us that if we call a child “lazy” enough times that child may develop a slow (lazy) heart beat, a slow functioning liver or even a slow immune system.

We do not know how this works but that it does work is so obvious that it is all but undeniable.

With all this in mind, it is important now to conceive of what “reality” you are giving your brain when you tell it that you a hate a person or a thing. The brain conjures up all the chemicals that you need to become hateful. And being hateful you necessarily become unhappy.

If that hate continues and grows into neurotic proportions, you are apt to become destructive, say cruel things or more even do cruel things. When this happens you areacting out of your experiences and giving yourself over to your brain/body; you become the hate, so to speak, that you have harbored. Hateful people do hateful things!

But remember what we said at the top of this article? We are NOT the totality of our experiences, we can transcend experiences (rise above them) and use our free will to take control of ourselves and as a result take control of our world. We can do this by simply calling the hated object an object of our love for only one example. As a result, as long as we’re persistent enough, our brains will supply us with all the love we need to overcome our hatefulness. We soon enough become happier. Happy people do happy things!

An easy way to test this is this: look at a plate of food that you are about to eat and tell yourself a few times that it is really sickening and see what happens. Remember your brain doesn’t know much of anything until it is told.

The major point here is that our brains not only deliver what they are told by others about ourselves (best example our parents) but what we tell our brains about ourselves.

In thinking about what is being suggested in all this, here’s a list of things people say without ever knowing that when said enough times or with enough sincerity, their brains will deliver the chemicals and other processes that create the declarations into realities of one kind or another. Just think of what people are creating when they say:

  • This makes me sick
  • I’ll die if I have to go
  • This is really a pain in the ass
  • I cant stomach this
  • It’s enough to drive me crazy
  • I’d rather be dead
  • This is really the shits
  • There’s nothing worth living for
  • I’m just sick and tired of it
  • The entire thing is nauseous
  • We’ll just have to suffer it out
  • I can’t tell you how hurt I am
  • I just don’t feel good about it
  • It’s enough to give you a heart attack

All these rather mood motivated remarks become declarations and finally instructions when we understand that the brain can’t tell fact from fiction in terms of what it is told.

We are NOT saying of course that (in a fit a temper) you declare that someone “is driving you crazy” that your brain will suddenly deliver insanity to you. But if you make this declaration enough you may just get what you have given reality through your words to. And, indeed, if you say this enough about someone, you will begin finding more and more wrong with their attitudes and actions that, well, in a term, drive you crazy. Your brain will be begin supplying those chemicals that give you high anxiety as soon as that person walks into the room. Remember, as it is with the rose bush that you call a thorn bush—whatever you call a thing it becomes. Call anyone a crazy-maker time and time again and that is what that person will become…for you.

In this sense we all create our own worlds…we “will” things to become what we desire or declare them to be. This is part of how we use our free will in “creating” our own realities. Accordingly to say anything such as “I was born to lose” is to manifest “losing.”

But wait, it is one thing to say that what we tell our brains changes our interior worlds but surely what we say to our brains or what is given our brains by the authorities in our lives can’t affect the exterior world that we live in, right?


Read part two of this piece.

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